Down the drain
by BlackParadise
Summary: It's kind of a dark little story... I think that Elliot has a dark side that no one really got to know, but everyone knows is there just waiting to go off like a timebomb. In this story he makes the biggest mistake of his life...
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own them... only in my dreams ;-)

Summary: It's kind of a dark little story... I think that Elliot has a dark side that no one really got know, but everyone knows is there just waiting to go off like a timebomb. In this story his life has gone to hell, his wife left him (again), he hardly sees his kids anymore, and he started drinking to forget it all. That's when he hits rockbottom and makes the biggest mistake of his life...

Oh and eh I'm not a writer (still) I don't do this kind of thing alot so please bear with me. It may suck but it's with the best of intentions.

Warning: Contains violence and deals with pretty dark stuff!!

CHAPTER 1

It was rather quiet at the 1-6 when Liv came in for work that day, she slowly made her way to her desk after putting away her coat.

She looked over at Elliot's empty desk, and sighed softly.

He was late again, and this had been going on for quite some time, she was really worried for him.

He hasn't been himself lately, he looked liked hell and always smelled of alcohol. She figured it was because of his seperation with Kathy.

That this was his way of dealing with it, not seeing her and his kids anymore.

It was not just his appearance that had changed, his attitude had gotten worse then ever.

He always had an aggressive side to him, but now he was out of control. He lost his temper more than once when interrogating a suspect.

He already had numerous complaints filed against him but he just didn't seem to care. His co-workers mostly ignored his behaviour because they felt sorry for him, but even they knew that this had to end.

Liv, being the closest to him, tried to talk to him about his problems but she didn't seem to get through. He simply shut her off.

Olivia got herself a nice hot cup of coffee and sat down at her desk. She looked up and saw Cragen pacing in his office. He did not look happy.

She knew this was about Elliot, she knew that Cragen was fed up with him. But there was nothing she could do about it, god knows she tried.

She just silenty prayed that he'd get here soon, before Cragen exploded. And as if on que Elliot walked in. He couldn't hold his balance for more then a second so when he reached his desk he quickly sat down.

He ignored his partner sitting across from him and let his head rest on his arms. Liv tried to make eye contact with him "El you okay?"

She took a good look at him, his shirt was hanging out of his pants, he tried to shave but failed miserably.

And again the smell of alcohol, Liv looked at her watch and sighed, it was way to early to be drinking.

Elliot then lifted his head and looked back at her, his beautiful blue eyes were blank.

It didn't even looked like Elliot anymore, like somebody snook in and took over his body.

"I'm fine Liv" he softly answered her. He faked a smile at her.

Olivia opened her mouth to speak to him when Cragen came bursting out of his office.

"Elliot, in here" he angrily said. Elliot sighed, stood up and walked in. Liv curiously watched the scene taking place inside his office. Though she couldn't hear what was being said, she had a pretty good guess.

After a long couple of minutes Elliot came out of the office, made brief eye contact with Liv and then headed towards the cribs.

"Olivia, you got a sec?" Cragen asked sticking his head out of the door. Liv finished the last sip of coffee then joined Cragen in his office.

"I'm sure you have a pretty good idea as to what I've just said to your partner?" he said to her with a gentle tone as he took a seat in his chair.

"yeah" she simply answered. "I told him to try and get some sleep". "Look I know he's going through a lot right now, but I don't need to tell you he's crossed the line to many times".

"I need you to remind him how much he used to love this job, because he is putting it all on the line right now" he said, his voice getting louder.

"And I am sick of this crap, people are starting to doubt my judgement". He sighed as he willed himseld to calm down.

Liv just stood there with her arms crossed, not really knowing what to say. "Captain, I tried but he...". "If anyone can get through to him it's you Liv" he said interrupting her.

She sighed and nodded, "OK I'll go talk to him". Just as she finished her sentence the phone rang. "Cragen" he answered.

Liv then left the office, got herself another cup of coffee and went to the cribs.

When she entered the room she immediately spotted Elliot on the last bed sitting with his head in his hands.

He slowly lifted his head to see who entered the room. "Hey" she softly said.

"Hey" he answered back. She sat on the bed across from him and held out the warm cup of coffee.

"I thought you might like this" she gently said. "Thanks" he said taking the cup from her hands.

He seemed to sober up a bit so she decided to give it another go.

"Look El" she began, "I know what you're gonna say Liv" he continued.

"Do you?" she asked him. "Do you really know what's happening here?". "You're about to lose your job Stabler, then what huh?"

"Is it really worth it?" "Then you will have lost your wife, your kids AND your job".

"Do you think I want this!" he said frustrated. "Do you think I want any of this to happen, to let my life go to shit".

"Look I know I shouldn't drink so much, but I can't help myself Liv" he said trying to explain.

Liv looked at him intensely, glad to finally get through to him. Wanting to help him.

"It just that I'm so damn tired but I can't fall asleep you know". "And so badly wanting to cry my eyes out and not shedding a single tear".

"It's driving me nuts, then booz just seems like the only logical option left"

"You know you have a drinking problem right?" she slowly asked.

He sighed and looked into those big brown eyes "I'm working on it" he answered her.

"Let me help you" she said leaning forward. "Liv, you're already helping by putting up with me when I'm like this".

"I just don't want you to lose your job over this El" she said feeling so sorry for him.

"Maybe it's for the best" he said breaking eye contact. "I'm just not the man I used to be anymore".

"You love this job El, don't give up so easily" she said trying to get through to him.

"I know you're in pain right now, but it will get better I promise you" she said with a soft tone as she reached out and held his hand.

He looked at her hands on his and then held them tight. He sighed "Thanks Liv" and looked at her again.

He gave her a smile, an Elliot Stabler smile, one she hasn't seen in a long time. It immediately made her smile too.

He then got up gave her a kiss on the head and left the cribs. Olivia remained sitting on the bed being pleased to finally have had a good conversation with him again.

Elliot grabbed his coat and left the precinct, Munch and Fin watched him leave as Olivia made her way downstairs.

"Everything okay?" Fin asked her. "Yeah I think I finally got through to him" she said with a little smile on her face.

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Later that night, Liv was having a relaxing night, just watching some old movies on tv.

she was wearing her sweatpants and a black top, just her average relax night outfit.

She got another soda from the fridge and just as she wanted to take her warm seat on the sofa again, there was a knock at the door.

She looked at the clock and wondered who could be here at this time of night. She approached the door and looked through the peephole.... Elliot.

She opened the door and was shocked to see as to how he was standing there, a bottle of whiskey in his hand, his clothing a total mess.

He was completely wasted, she could smell the alcohol a mile away. "Elliot?" she said still in shock.

"Hey Liv" he slurred. "Aren't you gonna invite me in?" he continued. He lifted the bottle of whiskey to take another drink, but before it even reached his mouth Liv grabbed it from his grasp and went into her kitchen to empty it in the sink.

Elliot stepped inside and closed the door behind him. He staggered his way into the kitchen as she threw the bottle away. "What a waste of a perfectly good bottle" he slurred at her.

"You are unbelievable, you stupid son of a bitch!" she angrily spat at him. She turned to face him anger showing on her face.

"Liv I just..." "What are you doing her El?" she interrupted him.

"I can't remember" he slurred. "You know, I was actually starting to think you grew up, wow was I wrong!"

She was so mad, she actually had a little hope for him again, but it was all gone now.

"Liv, why so angry?" he said as he approached her. Liv immediately took a step back, the smell of alcohol overwhelming.

"Elliot just go" she said disappointed. "No I want to make it up you" he said still approaching her.

"You look nice" he softly said. "Oh my god El, just go" she said annoyed at his remark.

She couldn't believe this, he was so drunk, that was actually hitting on his partner.


	2. Chapter 2

Warning: contains violence and dark subject matters.

CHAPTER 2

"I just had a little drink Liv, it's not that big a deal" he said to her hoping she bought it.

"I don't care right now El, I don't wanna talk to you right now" she said standing her ground.

He stood before her only inches away, all Liv could smell was the alcohol.

He reached out and touched her cheek, "You're really beautiful Liv" he said softly.

"Elliot stop" she said irritated. She smashed his hand away, and then suddenly he went off, tik tak... boom.

His look changed from drunk to angry, as he grabbed the wrist that slapped his hand away.

"Ow, El what are you doing!" she asked startled. He squeezed it a little harder as he yanked her to him.

"Come on Liv, don't tell me all of a sudden you don't want me anymore" he grinned devishly.

"You and I both know, there was always something between us".

"You'd better let me go right now, before I throw your sorry ass outta here" she said threatening.

"No you won't" he said confident. She was getting angry real fast, she started pulling her wrist from his grasp.

"Come on Liv, don't be like that". He suddenly grabbed her head and kissed her hard on the lips.

She immediately started hitting him, and pulling away. He was way too strong, but she didn't go down without a fight.

He held her close to him making it hard for her to hit him. He started kissing her neck all the while trying to hold her wrists from hitting him.

"God damn son a bitch" she hissed. Then she kicked him against his leg as hard as she could.

He immediately released her and tended to his painful leg, it infuriated him even more.

Liv quickly stepped away from him and ran for the door. Just as she pulled it open Elliot kicked it shut again.

He grabbed her by her upperarms and threw her against the wall. She grunted as her head hit the wall.

His hold on her was very painful, she could the see the rage in his eyes, and couldn't help but wonder if it was something she did.

"El stop this, your hurting me" "Think about what you're doing" she said hoping to get through to him.

"It's your fault for being so hot" he answered with a grin. This was not Elliot, not even remotely.

He tried to kiss her again but she kept wiggling her head sideways to avoid him.

Then out of the blue he slapped her hard across her face. For a moment she was in shock, did he actually just hit her??

"Stay still" he said with a low voice. "Screw you!" she spat at him.

She struggled with all her might trying to get free, but his hold on her was very strong, not to mention painful, she could feel the bruising already.

He then yanked her from the wall, grabbed her upperarm and dragged her towards the bedroom. Her eyes widened when she saw where he was leading her.

She dug her heel in the floor, trying to yank her arm from his grasp. "No" she yelled. "Elliot stop".

He ignored her pleas as he continued dragging her struggling body to the bedroom.

How much did he have to drink, for him to do something as horrible as this, she wondered briefly.

As they reached the bedroom he pushed her towards the bed. As soon as she stood still again she punched him in the face as hard as she could.

She hit him right in the nose, causing it to bleed. He felt the blood streaming, and used his shirt to wipe it away.

He looked at her, standing defiantly in front of him, anger and confusion very present in her eyes.

He knows he should feel remorseful and stop this nonsense, but all he felt was lust. He just had to have her, screw the consequences.

He advanced on her, Liv automatically taking a step back. "Think about what you're doing" she said to him trying to sound confident.

He said nothing but continued approaching her. Liv kept backing up untill she hit the nightstand next to the bed. She had no where to go now.

As soon as he came in range she swung at him again, hitting him square in the jaw. Her policetraining kicking in.

And again she threw her fist towards his face, but Elliot caught her hand right before it made contact with his face.

He used this leverage to push her onto the bed, and quickly followed her down. He immediately grabbed her wrists and held them above her head.

She struggled with all her might trying to loosen the hold, but she only succeeded in hurting herself even more.

She was so frustrated that she couldn't fight him off, that she was so weak, that he could so easily take her if he wanted too.

"Aargh get off me!" she yelled at him. "You son of a bitch!". He only smiled at her feeble attempt to free herself.

He enjoyed the fact, that he could do with her what he wanted, her not being strong enough to fight him off.

"Come on Liv, just relax, maybe you'll even enjoy this" he said to her, but not at all sounding like the Elliot she knew for so many years.

"If you touch me, I swear to god!" she spat at him. "You'll what?" he answered. "Hurt me?" he whispered.

"I'm gonna make sure you rot in jail bastard" she said still struggling.

Elliot only smiled at her remark, he didn't care.

Liv was exhausted from fighting him and attempts weakened, he lowered his head and kissing her neck again, licking the side of her face.

She immediately turned her head away from him, digusted by his actions.

"Hmm you taste like vanilla" he whispered in her ear.

"If I knew you tasted this good, I might not have waited 11 years to make my move" he winked at her.

As he continued licking her neck and face up and down, desperation hit her, tears started to well up in her eyes.

She could not believe this was really happening, her partner and her so called best friend doing this to her.

She kept saying to herself that the alcohol was making him do this, that this was not Elliot, not the Elliot she knew anyway.

The tears started falling down her face "Elliot please don't do this" she softly said still not looking at him.

He had heard her, she could feel it, but it wasn't long before he got back to what he was doing.

Her wrists were killing her, as she never stopped pulling at them.

He then placed her wrists in one hand while the other started roaming over her breasts.

"Oh god please just stop!" she cried, she felt so digusted.

He ignored her pleas and went underneath her shirt enjoying the feel of her full breasts.

She wriggled her body from left to right trying to loose his touch.

He then started tugging the waistband of her sweatpants, and she was in panic mode more than ever.

Her strength renewed she struggled again making it hard for him to get a grip on her pants.

Annoyed by her struggling he slapped her again, this time so hard he busted her lip.

She cried out in pain and stopped struggling for a second because of it.

He used the oppertunity to yank her pants down all the way down her legs and then planted a knee between her legs preventing her from closing them.

He was bruising the inside of her legs with his knee, as he forcefully spread them. She let out a whimper of pain.

He started fiddling with his own belt eager to free himself, his raging hard on almost bursting out of his jeans.

Olivia heard the sound of his jeans unzipping and just started screaming, hoping someone would hear her.

Anything to make this nightmare stop, because if she didn't stop him now he was actually gonna rape her.

She let out the most deafening scream Elliot had ever heard, and was momentarily stunned by it.

But then almost immediately his hand left his jeans and went over her mouth, almost suffocating her.

He held his head next to hers and whispered "What are you doing to me Liv" "How can we finish this if you start screaming"

She tried to shake his hand of her face, disgusted by his touch.

Her tears still flowing making his hand wet, she sobbed softly beneath him.

The smell of alcohol still strongly in the air, he tried his best to control her.

But he came to the conclusion he did not enough hands to do just that.

He needed to hold her down, keep her mouth shut and undress her at the same time.

He was getting a little annoyed when he realised this wasn't going to be easy.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for the reviews guys!! really appreciate it, never thought I would get any goodreviews. Cuz it's about Elliot and all so thanks :D**

Chapter 3

'Someone must've heard that scream' Olivia thought to herself hopeful

Never in a million years did she thought that she had to do this to get away from Elliot, she was absolutely hearbroken.

And not to mention angry as hell, who the hell does he think he is? What gives him the right? Is this how he got 5 kids? Did he ever hurt Kathy this way?

All these questions just kept repeating themselves in her head, while she fought for her freedom.

Elliot all of a sudden rolled to the side of the bed taking her with him, making sure she wasn't going anywhere.

He reached inside the drawer of her night stand and felt around for her handcuffs, he knew she always brought them home with her along with her gun.

He felt the cold steel of the cuffs inside the drawer and took them out. This all happened so fast Liv didn't even had time to react.

He rolled them back to the center of her bed and she saw the cuffs. "No" she loudly said. His hand went to cover her mouth again.

All that was heard were her muffled screams and sobs. His hand on her mouth was bruising her there too, he held her so tight. She had difficulty breathing.

He took advantage of her panicking body to put the cuffs through the headboard and then slap them on her wrists.

When he could finally remove his hand from her wrists he saw how tight he held her, they were all red and purple with bruises.

But even with the cuffs on her she kept pulling on them, trying in vain to pull them free.

He was still straddling her, her sweatpants dangling uselessly around her ankles, only lying there in her underwear.

Her struggling caused her top to ride up uncovering her bare belly, he enjoyed the sight beneath him.

He used his sleeve again to wipe some of the blood from his nose.

She felt so vulnerable, so exposed to her soon to be ex partner's roaming eyes.

"You're so beautiful Liv" he said again softly. His words just wanted to make her throw up.

Maybe under different circumstances she would be flattered, but not like this when he's trying to force himself on her.

He softly slid his hands up and down her bare belly, and enjoyed the soft feeling, she felt so smooth and smelled so wonderfull.

His hand was still on her mouth and he could hear she had difficulty breathing because of the sobs.

"If I let go, will you stop screaming" he said to her as if he was talking to child.

'The hell I will' she thought to herself, but nodded instead, she really needed some air.

He removed his hand and smiled at her "I don't understand why you're fighting this so much" "I know you want this as much as I do" he continued.

He really had no idea what this was doing to her, he was so messed up he lost all sense of reality.

"Elliot please" she started "stop what you're doing, think about your family".

"My family is gone Liv!" he said to her angrily. "When are going to get that?"

He was getting aggressive again, she could see it in his eyes. "Elliot please, I know this is not you, the Elliot I know would never hurt me" she pleaded.

"Maybe you don't know me as well as you think" he said threatening. And his hands immediately went to his pants again.

He undid his belt and opened his jeans, he jammed his knee between her legs again, hurting her every step of the way.

"Ow stop" she yelled. He reached up and slapped her again. "I told you to stop screaming" he said pointing his finger at her.

She was sobbing uncontrollably now, as his hands made his way to the inside of her legs.

He slowly touched her there on her underwear, and it felt so warm. He truly felt like he was in heaven.

She was so humiliated, trying desperately to close her legs, to stop him from touching her there.

He started rubbing her through her underwear, and he could feel his penis get even harder if that was possible.

"Oh god" she sobbed over and over again. She was crying so hard she couldn't scream anymore, she wanted to so badly but she didn't have enough breath to scream so loud.

His breathing was becoming heavier, he was loving every minute of it. Her continued struggle just added to his pleasure, the way she kept rubbing against him.

He just couldn't hold it anymore, he had to get inside her before he'd explode. He sat up on his knees and was pushing his pants all the way down.

What he didn't realise was that when he was so busy on getting his pants off he gave her legs room to move again. She lifted her knee up and kicked him the chest as hard as she could.

He flew over the bed against the wall on the other side of the room. His head hit the wall and he grunted from the pain.

Liv immediately sat up straight, pulling at the cuffs with all her might. "Help me!" she yelled as loud as she could.

Her hope returned knowing that neighbours must've heard her screams. This time for sure.

Elliot got of the ground not looking at all to happy. He approached the bed all the way keeping eye contact with her.

He then jumped on top of her, pulling her legs down and apart, his weight crushing her. He was really heavy and she fought to breathe again.

He grabbed her chin and made her look at him "Because of your stupid screaming we have to hurry it along now"

She felt him tugging at something between them and then felt his hand pushing her panties out of the way.

"No, No!" she screamed her eyes wide with panic. Trashing wildly beneath him, but to no avail.

He jammed his penis inside her and she screamed with pain and agony. It hurt so much so could hardly move.

She sobbed so hard it was almost suffocating her. "god stop it please" she moaned.

He loved the way she felt inside, so warm and tight. He increased his pace wanting her so badly, that for him this was pure ecstasy.

He was moaning with pleasure, she felt so good. Olivia was experiencing nothing but pain and humiliation.

She was as dry as a bone, which only contributed to the pain but he didn't seem to care as his pace increased even more.

"Oh god Liv" he moaned at her as he felt he was reaching his climax.

She was digusted by the use of her name, and just turned her head aside facing the wall, hoping it would be over soon.

He came with a loud groan and she felt his semen fill her up. It made her want to vomit.

He collapsed on top of her and just laid there catching his breath again. She felt him getting soft again, but he was still inside her.

It hurt so bad, like she was on fire, she couldn't even move her legs without the pain killing her.

Then Elliot pushed himself off of her and gathered his things, remembering the neighbours heard her screams and probably called the police already.

He was still dizzy from the alcohol but managed to get dressed. He started sobering up a bit. He stumpled over to her and sat on the bed next to her.

Her eyes were blank, just staring at the wall, ignoring him completely. He looked at her lying on the bed.

Her cuffed wrists started bleeding at some point, her bare belly still exposed and her sweatpants still bunched up around her ankles.

He could see all the bruises he caused her, her arms, her face, the inside of her legs. There were so many.

Then he saw his semen on her panties and inner thighs, and then it hit him. 'Oh god' he thought. 'What have I done?'

He ran inside the bathroom and threw up in the toilet, he couldn't stop vomiting.

After a couple of minutes he came back out and went to Liv again. He took out a key and undid the handcuffs.

Her hands just fell limply to her sides, she didn't care what he did anymore, he'd already broken her.

Elliot said nothing, what could he say? I'm sorry? Yeah right.

He lost her, he just lost the only woman in his life that actually meant something to him, only because he was to weak to stop drinking.

His life was now officially over...

**Please, does anyone have any ideas as how to continue this?? I just ran out of ideas**


	4. Chapter 4

**Again thank you for the reviews, really appreciate it.**

Chapter 4

Elliot felt like he was dying inside, what did he do? How could he?

He felt nauseous again and the tears started welling up in his eyes.

Liv didn't move a muscle, she was just lying there, her pale broken body shaking.

Elliot then just all of a sudden got up and ran, ran away without looking back.

The door slammed shut behind him, and it was silent once more.

The only thing Liv could hear was her own ragged breathing.

After a few minutes of lying completely still, her eyes weld up with tears and started crying as if her life depended on it.

She had no idea how long she had been crying, it felt like hours had passed, and she wasn't far from the truth.

Then she suddenly felt so disgusting and humiliated again, that she forced herself to sit up and get off the bed.

The bruises on her body were so painful, and very reminding of this terrible night.

But the bruises were nothing compared to the excruciating pain she felt between her legs.

The moment she stepped of the bed she immediately crashed to the floor, her legs not being able to hold her up.

She slowly tried to lift herself off the ground and supported her weight by leaning on the bed.

She slowly but surely made it into the bathroom and got the shower running.

She stepped inside and then sat down under the warm water.

She hissed when the warm water hit her skin for the first time, the pain very evident.

She sat there in her bathtub and scrubbed her skin so many times that it turned all red.

She was in there for so long that the water just didn't feel warm enough anymore.

She got out slowly and painfully and dried herself of.

She wiped the steam of the mirror and for the first time took a good look at herself.

Her lip was really swollen from the beatings, and she lost count so many bruises were there.

There was no way she could cover it all up, tears fell from her eyes once again.

She was surprised she had tears left to cry. 'How could this happen' she kept thinking to herself.

She never took her eyes of the mirror observing her body closely remembering each and every bruise.

'I have to report him' she then suddenly thought. 'He deserves to rot in prison for what he did'

She then closed her bathrobe and went into the living room to get her phone.

She opened it ready to call it in when she let out a sigh and just kept looking at her phone without actually doing something.

She put the phone down again, curled up on her sofa and started crying again, because that was the only thing she felt like doing right now.

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Elliot came home and didn't even bother to turn on the lights. He stumpled inside his kitchen and walked towards his liquor cabinet.

He grabbed a bottle of whiskey and took off the cap and got ready to take the biggest drink of his life. Hoping it would actually kill him.

He brought the bottle to his mouth but then stopped and just held it there, right next to his mouth. He could smell the alcohol.

He then threw the bottle hard into the sink, smashing it into a thousand pieces, whiskey flying all over his kitchen.

He took every single bottle of alcohol and smashed them one at a time. He was in a frenzy, tears were streaming down his face and he screamed as loud as his voice would let hem.

There was glass everywhere, the alcohol was dripping from his walls and cabinets. He didn't care.

He made his way upstairs into his bathroom and took off his clothes. They smelled of alcohol and... Liv. 'Oh god' he thought again. The mere thought of her drove him mad.

He looked in the mirror and saw the scratch marks Liv gave him while trying to fight him off. He felt so guilty and worthless, he hated himself so much at that point.

He then turned away from the mirror not being able to look anymore, and turned on the warm water and ran himself a bath.

He got in and sighed heavily, tears started to form again.

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The next day Liv woke up by the sound of her cell phone ringing.

She woke up with a shock, and made herself calm down again to see she was all alone, no one was here. She was still on the couch where she fell asleep on.

She grabbed her phone and read 'Cragen', "hello?" she asked.

"Liv Hi it's me Donald" he did not sound happy at all, and it made her feel really uncomfortable.

"What's wrong?" she immediately asked. She could hear him sigh on the other end and did not answer her immediately.

"Liv I have something to tell you... Elliot tried to kill himself last night".

She just froze, said and did nothing. She could hardly even register what her captain just said.

"Liv are you there?" he asked softly. "Yeah" she said after a long pause.

"I'm sorry I have to tell you this over the phone but I felt like you needed to know as soon as possible".

The doctors think he'll pull through, he's at Mercy general right now. It'll do him good to see you" he continued.

'If only he knew' she thought to herself. "Yeah OK, thanks for calling" she said to him, then she just hung up.

Cragen was very worried for both of them, she was not OK and Elliot defenitely wasn't. 'What the hell happened' he thought to himself.

**sorry it's so short, I'll continue this shortly**


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